1. Goodbye. You’re dead to me now.
2. Goodluck finding better friends than me! Goodbye.
3. This goodbye better not be forever, else you’ll be cursed by me forever!
4. I’m not wishing that you fail, but just saying that if you do, you can always come back. Goodbye.
5. After all the crazy things we’ve done together, our friendship comes down to this… a measly goodbye! Go now and never show me your face again you deserter!
6. Did you know that being away from your friends can make you feel depressed, anxious and lonely? Don’t mean to scare you, just saying!
7. I’ll say goodbye, only if you promise to bring me expensive gifts when you return.
8. Every time you feel alone, every time you feel lonely… just close your eyes and think about all the amazing gifts you’ll bring for me when you come back. Bye now!
9. Goodbyes are not the end. Do not, even for a second, believe that you’ll never pay for my meals again.
10. Did you know that the best way to keep in touch with friends is to send them presents? Just saying… goodbye!
11. Goodbye my friend, I hope our paths cross again… so I can punch you for leaving me in the first place!
12. I don’t know of a deeper pain than watching a friend leave… especially a friend who pays for my meals.
13. Can’t believe you’re going! Who will I do stupid things with now?
14. This is not a goodbye. Just a temporary absence until you return with gifts.
15. Goodbye! I’m not trying to be funny but I hope the airline loses your luggage and you have no place to go but mine! xoxo
16. Wherever you are, never forget that you have a friend waiting for you to come back… with awesome presents! Goodbye.
17. I can’t believe you’re leaving! I hope you fail at everything you do. See ya soon!
18. And to think of it, I was the only person who never judged when you farted. What will you do without me?
19. Goodbye my friend, it won’t be the same without you… it’ll be much better.
20. Do you know the worst part of being away from friends? They’re the only people who won’t judge you when you fart.
21. Thank God you’re going. Now I don’t need to have the psychiatric on speed dial.
22. Damn, who will be the stupid in my selfies now? Bye!
23. Goodbye my friend, I’ll miss you a lot. Who am I going to borrow money from now?
24. I never felt bad about being a loser in life, because I always had likeminded friends like you around. What will I do now? Goodbye my friend.
25. I don’t want you to go! I’m trying to stay positive but deep down inside I truly hope that you miss you flight
26. Oh, you’re going… who will I make fun of now? Bye!
27. Never ever come back, unless of course you’re buying me a new iPhone!
28. If you don’t call me at least once a week, I’ll report you, I’ll find you, I’ll hunt you down… and give you the longest hug!
29. WHY ARE YOU LEAVING?? For your own sake, you better hope we meet again… else you have no idea how much I’ll put you in pain.
30. You’ve been convicted of Leaving Your Friend. Punishment is as follows: 2 phone calls daily, 2 selfies daily, 1 handwritten letter weekly and 1 in-person visit once every 3 months.
31. Come back with some amazing gifts. Else, don’t bother coming back. Goodbye!
32. Why do you have to go? I loved having someone who paid for my lunch!
33. At last, I’ll be able to live life without a clingy friend like you! Goodbye
34. Finally! I’ll be able to get my life back on track now that a bad influence like you is leaving. Goodbye!
35. Of all the things I’ll miss about you, borrowing money from you will be the most. Goodbye.
36. Do you have to go? Here’s my address, feel free to send presents! Goodbye.
37. The best part about having friends is that you always have someone to seek advice. Now that you’re going away, it’ll be chargeable by the minute. Looking forward!
38. I’m not surprised you’re leaving. You’ve always been selfish! Goodbye but no thank you.
39. I have nothing to say to you. Goodbye, leave and never ever call me a friend again! Oh and also, don’t forget to bring me a present when you come back.
